Friday, December 29, 2006


have you ever thought of Santa beating all the people on the Naughty List with a huge tree limb? i didn't think so. I have recently been acquainted with teh Belsickle , the old German version of Santa Clause, who doles out both treats and severe punnishments. appearently in German traditions, Belsnickle comes on Christmas Eve and scatters treats on the floor. then he invites the good children, one at a time, to come take them. but the bad children he beats with a stick.
Bob just thought that this was an interesting Christmas fact to share with you people, so he did.
also, anyone ever heard of Nightwish? another one of those odd bands Bob finds, but they're realy good. they're kind of like hard metal/opera. i urge all you short people to check them out.

a link for one of their best songs:

the official website:

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Evangelical Rant #583: To The Movies!

As you, my three-four person audience knows, Bob keeps many Evangelical freinds from his Calvery Chapel years, (ugh) and when the opertunity came along to see them and get a free movie i bit. One of Bob's friends called and invited himself and his brother to a movie called "facing the giants" or something close to that. appearently it was not produced by any good companies because it was "too christian" but more likely because of the bad acting. well, that's not completely true, it probably did have something to do with the fact that there was constant praying and preaching. it actualy was a fairly good one for those stupid happy clap trap bs evangelical films. there was a lot of focus on praying, which was good because its something that is fairly neutral for denomonartions.
my favorite thing though was all the mentions of justification in it. meaning the one sentence: "god sent his son to die for you so you could live for him." which is way underplaying it and actualy makes no sense at all. stinking fundies. and why do they ALL look like they just came from the trans-syberian orchestra band practice? I don't think there is one head there (at least one that wasn't going bald) that was not covered with about ten inches of hair! it's like having sixty or so Cousin Its in one place. After the movie we all wandered out ot the lobby and had drank enough caffine to keep us going for a few hours. while there i was amazed at how many "bless you brother"s went on there. it was kind of like watching a whole bunch of monks get high and then greet each other. bloody fundies.
so that's it for my exposure to other humans for the month, back to that horrible denish tomblike cave i call my room until...i die.

Monday, December 18, 2006


paolini stinks, here's proof!:

and to you few people who actulaly read this blog, please post anything you know about, and especialy angry criticisms of the band "mcfly" because they are evil incarnate.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

drool and graham crackers

for those of you who don't know Bob is in a babysitting (yes, we sit on babies) thingy on every other thursday. there's some church here that has a sort of 'relief for a few hours' thing for moms. so anyway, they go party and we get stuck with the kiddies for a while for a few bucks an hour. this all takes place at 8am, so there are precious few kids available, and even fewer adults. but because bob is a homeschooler he can go and not miss class. I'm basicly the only male there, which realy sucks. actualy there are a few men in with some of the older kids, but bob never sees them anyway. the kids i work with are about a year, maybe a year and a half. just little enough to be cute but not enough to puke on you. most of the time. I've developed two shadows and an extra limb while working there, a little italian boy and a little pink girl who constantly follow me around and one boy who is absolutely glued to my shoulder the whole time.
but the pay is good and it's an excuse to get out of the house.
I'm not sure exactly what the point of this post is, but for some reason I thought I should post about my oddjob. so I will leave you with not one, but two interesting quotes.
as the suave, wordmincing hemmingway once said: "the first draft (of anything) is sh*t."
and another from my brother, upon being insulted by Bob: "You know Bob, if you were a nice pixy more people would frollick with you."

Saturday, December 02, 2006

bob hocks lugie, ends marathon

yay! bob has done it! at very last over a month of hard work he has submitted his hard bought novel to NaNoWriMo ( and won!
*Bob pauses in speach for applause, glares at audience for not applauding*
basicly what I did was write a novel in 30 days, although it was more the 3 galons and 110 oz of caffine i consumed writing than me myslef. Smelly did the same, winning for the second year. it's not realy a competition, but anyone who submits 50,000 words "wins." it was quite fun, and suger/caffine filled. if you want more than my ramblings on it check out Stormy or the official web page.
So anyway, what is this novel about, you might ask? well, I'll blurt out my shame, it's a zombie novel. Bob knows, it's sad, like a B-movie of fiction, but at least I didn't use bikers. there are two plotlines that are the same and one that is a little different. one is zombie hunters (freemasons) in 1745 Scotland, one is zombie hunters in fudel Japan. the other, the main one, goes as follows.
the zombies have taken over, and now there are only little pockets of humanity left. one little pocket decides that they've become sick of sitting around and doing nothing and decide to look for other humans. most of these people are based very loosely around one or some of my friends, and prety much everyone I know makes a cameo appearence as a zombie or a victim. so anyway they go around, find some post-apoctoliptic drug addicts (now they can grow weed without fear of government) and find a place where people are pitting gladiators against zombies. they wander about creating plot and words until i see fit to have them retake the local city and begin a sort of safe haven for people.
so, not that good, but fun none the less. My brother is in it as a constant character, (he is a zombie who is too stupid to find people to eat, and eventualy is dressed up as a clown and shot by an old frail man) and on a dare i added the words "fifteen chickens" to every chapter, and seven goats on an island.

also, if it were a blog somebody we all know would have it already, but it's a site that me and almost all of my friends should join, so i thought i'd show it to the rest of the mental wards:

and so before i tell you all to beware the ides of march again, i must share with you the final statistics of NaNo:
Day: -2
Word Count: 58,092
Caffine Intake: 3 galons, 110 oz
Sanity Level: hehehe! they've come to take me away!