Treeehuggers, kiddy edition

Treehuggers. Ohhh the treehuggers. BAH! Bob was out the other day In the park when some poor person's little kid comes running up to a tree and leaps upon the defenseless thing, squeezing it and squealing "tree!" while his helpless parent stood there and looked embarrassed. Bob feels for that poor man. Also, a couple months ago Bob was innocently minding his own business when he witnessed a tragedy. Two small children, running along the street hugging the show trees along the sidewalk. Bob cries daily for their parents. Both of these crimes against nature were committed by children probably under the age of 10. Bob bawls openly.
Bob knows some people who I'm sure have embraced a few giant sticks in their time and they are nice people for the most part. But Bob will rant against them another time. Perhaps these mini terrors were raised this way, the way of love for the brainless. To you all I say, please bugger off. To those who do this because of some other sick reason I say bugger off. but then again I think pretty much the whole world should bugger off, so who am I to talk. In general people annoy me, ask anyone who has spent a few house with me and you'll know this. But now it's time for ADD boy to get back the subject at hand. The frickin' treehuggers. I can see their point about saving trees, kind of. But have they ever thought of what the trees might feel like? Just to piss me off my brother's female friends hug me and I can't stand it, so how do you think those twigs feel? Did they ask to be touched? NO! They could sue for sexual harassment like I'm planning on doing to my brother's friends. I propose a new law commanding hippies not to touched a tree but rather throw themselves at the bulldozers to prevent logging. Who's behind me!!!
*crickets chirping*
bugger. So that law didn't go over so great and now I've been committed back into the mental hospital by congress after I broke into their homes to propose my law, but things worked out well.

People Annoy Me.
Bob of Bobland