yes, i know this is pretty much what i did the last post, but i'm doing it again. deal with it. the creepy thing is just how many of these i (and hooligans like myself) already know and very often do (see #11 14 26 31 etc.)
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
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10 comments:
Hehheh, I've been known to do #8. And 13. And 24, only with seeing, and.. yes, 25, as well.
Another good one is when out in public with family(works especially well with older brothers who think they are very discreet and mature *cough cough JEREMY cough*), repeat strange bits of conversation very loudly and questioningly. Annoys both family and strangers. Win-win. (:
I loved 2, 4, 8, 14, and 23!
14 is a good one to do in a court house where people are typing becasuse they will type what you say.
Why do you need to keep your windsheild wipers "tuned up"?
10 is mean. You might get squished.
27 is a weird one, because say you did do that to someone and they ended up being transgendered, what do you do then?
You should add "ask who farted vey loudly in public" to the list.
Oh! And place large ketchup packets behind people's tires. Not just one, but several.
I would so do 4. if I had the opportunity. Maybe my character will.
I do 7 with some people, particularly when I'm annoyed.
13. Pffff. I flick entire pens at Nat.
14. Also to Nat, mostly because he did it to me.
23. You can actually buy those cones? Sweet.
I've done 24 and 25.
I've also done the social experiment of just saying really weird things (like that I'm afraid my head will fall off) without smiling. It turns out some people are just idiots. (I try this most often with strangers.)
Oh, and I tell solicitors things... like lately my Dad has been busy planting umbrellas.
Heheh, the social experiment is fun, TCA.
Another great thing is(stealing ideas from the Addams family movies) asking people strange things really innocently, like asking girl scouts if their cookies are made from genuine girl scouts (that's my favourite one. They congregate outside grocery stores in March. That's the best time to strike.)
Oh, that movie was brilliant. The sad thing is, I don't know what I would have said when I was a GS. (I was most worried that I'd go up to a door and ring the bell and someone would come drunk.)
NFJ: there's another old but very, very good one :)
SK: that should be added. i like it.
TCA: what? scared? why? drunk people are so much fun! they're the best to mess with, especially if you tip from side to side slowly. sometimes you can get them to fall down that way. and its easy to convince them to buy your cookies. they'll have the munchies in a few minutes anyway.
TCA: Hey, at least you never interrupted anyone's foreplay!
That was VERY awkward.. O.O
Bob: Shut up. It was scary to an eight-year-old.
NFJ: Ohmy. I have no words.
;)
Hey! I flick pens at Nat too! Except I fail almost every time. I sing along at musicals when I can... I think I would do almost any of these to certain peoples. So cool.
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