In the month of February there resides International Fake Mustache Day, like Talk Like a Pirate Day only for facial hair.
Here, in Tinylittlenowhereville USA, however, International Fake Mustache Day falls on the 14th of March. why? because the nice people at the coffeeshop/chocolateshop say so.
The Nemoyer happened to be around on that day so we celebrated as a trio, Bob's self, Nemoyer and Brother Smelly. the previous day we spent annoying the chocolateshop people, and so on the way into town we stopped by to say "hello" and "please don't call security." there we were given mustaches of magnanimous proportion, which we proceeded to put on and douse in coffee and chocolate. after tipping our hats to the nice people there we took a long car trip into Madison, State Street in particular.
there was the normal lot of idiots, feminists, militant homosexuals, artists, fire-and-brimstone preachers etc. first stop was Ragstock, a clothing store, only fun. I found meself a nice military trenchcoat and Brother and Nemoyer bought Poofy Shirts. they had guys eyeing them the whole way home. Nemoyer also found a naval officer's trenchcoat, which went well with his red Poofy Shirt, making him look like some sort of Russian army officer (in soviet russia, baby aborts YOU!!).
next came Sacred Feather hat shop. it smelled of leather and fun. Nemoyer found himself a Greek hat which complimented his military attire and i bought a Derby, which i am currently wearing.
on the way back we stopped in Pop Deluxe, a funky little store with odd things, where we found a dead goldfish floating in a tank, which was, at the time, amazingly funny.
we got back a bit before i had to go to work so we had some time in which to mess witht the chocolate shop people, who put up with us graciously.
pictures may or may not be coming. don't hold your breath.
also, BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!
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17 comments:
I have a tan trenchcoat that practically jangles, for all of the buttons on it, but it looks terribly military and official, and it gets great stares in gas stations.
And while we beware the Ides of March, don't forget that the Kalends of October and April are still much, much more dangerous. We just don't know it yet...
i shall keep that in mind.
aren't trenchcoats wonderful? a cloak only you can get away with it wihtout looking like a TOTAL weirdo.
Heh, somehow I manage looking like a total weirdo anyway. You should know that by this time.
Yes. You do that. Don't forget to keep it in head and brain as well.
well true, as do all people with a soul, but not in a call-the-cops-and-run-for-cover way.
hehe, litteralist.
I think that some of the workers at Wal-Mart might disagree with that, Sir Bob.
Figurativist.
Wal-Mart called the cops on you?
labeler
No, but I think they might have, had I not been leaving already.
But hey, I've had complete strangers call the sheriff on me for riding my bike down the road.
You did it first, don't call me a labeler, hypocrite.
okay, how did they justify that one?
you're doing it again
Apparently, it's dangerous for "Little girls to be riding on the highway." Idiotic people, who don't know that a road only counts as a highway if it has a line painted down the middle(which Hawkinson does NOT). Same sorts of people who slow down to two miles an hour to pass pedestrians.
Doing what? I plead innocent!
wow, sad.
labeling.
guilty! *bangs gavel*
Indeed it is.
Lier.
Nay! Nay! I was framed! It was Colonial Mustard! I swear it was!
we already have the maid attesting that you had the candlestick in the library at the time of the murder.
*signals bailiff to take Freddy of to Horrible Grim Fate*
Don't you know that it's always the maid who does the murder? The butler is usually innocent. It's always the maid, old boy.
And, er, didn't you hear? The bailiff got arrested by Sheriff Cardiac. So much for your Horrible Grim Fate.
rats! me plan! foiled!
curse you!
Curse me? But I don't wanna be cursed!
Unless, of course, it's a cool curse, like having a frog come out of my mouth every time I say "altruistic". Now THAT would be cool.
ooo, that would be cool! fine, curse you with that!
Well, fine then! Be that way! Hmph! :)
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