recently i got glasses.
*waits for raucous laughter to die down*
And from this i learned a few things.
1) Bob really, reallyreally needed glasses.
2) Bob can still headbang.
3) The chair Bob was petting was not, in fact, the cat.
4) The world is even uglier than Bob thought.
i have several examples of the latter. first of all is Wisconsin's Snirt. this is the technical term for what occurs this time of year, when melting snow and dirt mix and form a sort of brown mush that collects in parking lots and my driveway. a month ago I thought it was tolerable, just a little annoying, but now i realize just how disgusting it is. it is repulsive.
also people, those i thought very pretty have very repulsive features about them. back when things were a little blurry eyes were perfect, skin was flawless, hair was not greasy. glasses made everyone ugly. thanks a lot.
the only other end of this is nature. it is even cooler than i first thought. the intricate patterns on leaves are more visible, the roots of a tree are more wondrous than ever before.
today i went to a zoo, just a tiny little thing funded by donation with about three small monkeys, a bear, goats, prairie dogs and a wolf. that's it. i looked at the newly cleared up monkeys, found them not too grandfatherlike, took a look at the prairie dogs, wished I could take a shot at them, saw the bear and found it fat.Then i went over to the wolf. i have seen this wolf a couple times over my life as a gray-white blur, but now i saw it in all its glory. its eyes were black beads, the fur was the texture of snow and it moved with grace i could hardly believe. that was when i realized that it was not an animal meant for a cage. the prairie dogs are fine in cages, the monkeys: whatever, i don't care about the goats or bear, but the wolf shouldn't have been there. you all know how much i like to verbally flick off PETA people, but on this one animal i agree. the timberwolf was to the woods what a lion is to the savannas: king. now a deposed monarch, stripped of crown and title, exiled to a tiny little piece of land. i spent a lot of time watching it, and slowly realized that even though everything might be a lot uglier the things which are truly beautiful are even more so now. maybe this is just the tiredness talking, but whatever.
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Confutatis maledictis, voca me cum benedictis
About Me
- Bob son of Bob
- WI, United States
- How to explain...remember that bad dream you had a while ago? remember that horrible unseen thing that chased you through the streets while nobody answered your screams for help or your banging at the door? that was me.
16 comments:
I remember when I first got glasses("What? What? You mean you weren't /born/ with them, Freddy?"). On the drive home I looked out the window and very nearly screamed,
"Mom! Mom! Look! There are houses past that corn field! Look! Real little tiny houses! I can actually see them!"
And after trying on your glasses, I agree, you really really really needed them. If /I/ could see through them, you really really needed them.
Wolves are beautiful, despite being nasty, chicken-stealing coyote-killing ol' buggers, but they ARE beautiful, all the same. I can't say the same for many other animals. Prairie dogs are pretty... squirrly? Squirrly. Meerkats, however, are pretty cute.
tiny little houses in a cornfield, like in Haunchyville?
well they're very much like people, they're usually okay but occasionally one or two need to be picked off. but who cares if they kill coyotes? i hate them, they're like little, sniveling, cowardly wolves. meerkats are cool, they stand, which makes them doublecool.
Yes, exactly!
It's kind of like someone took a giant mirror and placed it against Haunchyville, and then decided, "Okay, that's what Stoughton's going to look like."
I agree, coyotes are sniveling cowards, but they make nice, creepy noises at night, which I much prefer to the sounds the Racetrack makes, since the Racetrack sounds like angry ghosts, and that's not good. Nope, not at all.
Yeah, they rather remind me of ferrets, and ferrets are awesome.
hehe, full of midgets?
and coyotes don't sound like angry ghosts?
Yes. Really, really fat midgets.
Nope. They sound like sad ghosts.
Excuse me, you two, if I interrupt your little tete a tete.
I just wanted to say, "Welcome back to the world, Bob!" What could your parents have been thinking, getting YOU glasses. I rather thought your view of the world was adequate as things stood. Why would they have to improve you sight? I mean, you aren't going to be playing baseball anytime soon, are you? Need to see the spin of the ball as it nosedives toward the plate?
Most parents have a latent fear that they'll eventually be forgotten or even worse unrecognized by their progeny. It may be that. Yes, I think it may be that.
NFJ: try to catch one falling down the stairs on video. youtube'll go nuts.
...which is better than angry ghosts why?
bruce: exactly! i knew there was an agenda behind this...
Because sad ghosts are to be pitied, but angry ghosts are to be feared. Which would your rather do? Pity something or be afraid of something?
I have glasses. I look smarter now.
>.<
Sometimes anyway. Glasses don't hide blonde hair.
angry ghosts aren't to be feared, angry ghosts are to be exorcised!
heh, i don't think i've seen any pictures of you in glasses.
feared, and then exorcised, Bob.
Remember, they feared witches before they burned them, too.
And who would find the need to exorcise a ghost they weren't afraid of, unless it had malicious intent?(And that's the point of scary, angry ghosties, right? To be malicious and all that?)
And.. I'm rambling. I'll shut up now.
Freddy my dear, we are all just a dumb blonde inside.
Currently I am a brunette. Though this is subject to change at any moment.
Fred: well assumedly an angry ghost is malicious, so we exorcise it. but since we exorcise it we need not fear it. perfect "logic."
Aiden: i have always wondered about these things: if you dye your hair too much does it eventually not stick or something?
i don't know, these are the things i think about at 4 am
Bob, you fear the angry and assumedly malicious ghost before you exorcise it. Duh.
Aidene, I disagree, for reasons I have yet to think up.
Now you and Maggie are *really* too similar...
actually, it's really hard to headbang in glasses. they always fall off.
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