As some of you may or may not know I am a big fan of the TV show "Malcolm in the middle." some parts of it *cough*olderbrother*cough* remind me very much of my life. But while watching it the other night one specific part reminded me of something.
Reese hands off a huge stack of video games to a kid for $5
Malcolm: "Reese, what are you doing?"
Reese: "selling my material possessions"
M: "why?"
R: "because Brother Billy told me to"
M: "Brother billy? you mean that nut who rides around on the school bus handing out pamphlets?"
R: "it's called the manifesto and he's not a nut if you stop and listen to him. he and his followers have this awesome compound in Oregon where we're going to live off the land."
M: "You're going off with this guy?"
R: "don't worry, it's totaly safe! they have guard dogs, watch towers-"
M: "do mom and dad know about this?"
R: "No and you can't tell them. Brother Billy says the have negitive energy and bad karma."
M: "you're talking about joining a cult are you nuts?"
R: "Brother Billy doesn't talk to me like that, he makes me feel good about myself."
M: "It's called brainwashing Reese!"
R: "my name isn't Reese anymore."
M: "then...what is it?"
Reese stops, ponders,
R: "I don't know but it isn't Reese. now if you'll excuse me i have manifestos to distribute."
Or watch THE CLIP starting at 6:07 and ending at 7:07
That is pretty much how it goes in evangelical churches. You have to sell all your material possessions and go megachurch fulltime. There’s another "believer" who needs to live with you? You can't deny, it's "ungodly" and you will be shunned. the only way to get your rep back is to convert someone or make a huge sacrifice "for the lord." they don't seem to realize that in the Christian faith we believe that Christ already made the sacrifice so they don't have to go live in a hole in the ground and act like a martyr. But they do. And if you don't there must be something wrong with you.
another thing about that clip is the "manifestos" which in Fundimentalish translates to "chick tracts" those hideous little things you find in the copy of TIME at the Dentist's office or hidden in the candy in a gas station. Those are the evil little things that proclaim "a man once saw hell with his own eyes!" and "D&D is satanic!" and all the nonsensical crap like that. They must distribute them in annoying places or...I don't know...they shrivel up and die.
The "compound in Oregon" is just like a megachurch. You can't leave, you can't get in if you're not "saved" but instead of Oregon it's in California. Always in California. Stupid California.
the part about him not speaking to his mom and dad is evangelicalism exactly. i have no idea how many times i have talked to one of my fundamentalist friends and when a non-christian relative or friend enters the discussion they say "oh, but we don't see them much. they aren't Christian."
I will not even mention the whole thing about the "brother Billy makes me feel good about myself" line.
The thing that really caught my attention when I saw this part of the show was when Reese refers to "brother Billy." some of you may remember my somewhat popular post "raise my hands and sway" about the evangelical "retreat" I went to.
As I watched the TV he said the words "Brother Billy" my memory clicked and I remembered something. The last ten minutes or so that I was there was some moron up on stage declaring that "I have conclusive proof that the end-times will come in my lifetime! Amen?" there followed, of course a rather stoned sounding "amen" in response. This was one of those many times when, while bob was around evangelicals, he had a very hard time not standing up and shouting "No you do not you dim-witted slackjawed buffoon!” Jesus said "only my father in heaven knows the day" and so you cannot know for certain.
I also had a strange impulse to run up on stage and beat him over the head with one of the many electric guitars present (EVERYONE in Calvary Chapel plays guitar it's another one of the requirements).
But when I went home and thought about it I just felt sorry for the guy. People like that are so sad and scared and hopeless that they convince themselves that because of that Jesus must be coming back soon. "Signs" you see and "prophecies" you listen to will make no difference, God will do as he will and there's nothing we can do to hurry Him along, and nothing we can do to predict.
I remember when I was a very little kid and the first "Left Behind" (in my way of thinking "left butt-cheek") book came out. Our babysitter was very into it, and though we were still in our terrible Evangelical days I still didn't get it.
"What is that?" I asked him.
His reply was "the future."
When he set it down to go make us dinner I picked it up and read the back, though I had to skip a few words. I had heard the end-times thing explained to me before and even at that age I found it completely ridiculous.
I find this a good time to re-link to this
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42 comments:
hi brother bob (KIDDING! pleeeease don't kill me!!!) um, so i'm grounded. therefore, this being a stupid school computer, i cannot reach youtube. so can't read/respond to your message. ugh. life. ugh. bye.
have i forgotten to mention that people annoy me?! well they do.
people annoy me too. a lot. i shall refrain from killing you. it will come when you least expect it ;)
*SCREAMS
i am angry. i am angry beyond belief, and i really have no reason, except that i am sore all over and tired and people are stupid and i have to write an essay tonight.
so how are you?
aiden, i will email you sometime this week.
i like laptop computers.
i like going out when it's raining and getting soaking wet.
i like fires.
i like cats, especially purring cats.
i like tea.
i like my friends.
i like music.
i like making fun of Mcfly fans.
i like walking in a woods-type area. any woods-ish place will do.
i like lime soda. it's lime green and fizzy and it tastes awesome, and the first time i ever watched my favorite episode of star trek EVER i spilled it all over the basement floor! and broke the glass bottle too and had to clean it all up....... darn soda.
i like people who aren't jerks.
i like people who DO talk to you before they stop speaking to you.
i like swinging on swings.
i like making fun of dumb people who take pictures of me when i'm not looking and put them in stupid frames and show them around school.
i like singing.
i like my nesting dolls.
i like chewing gum.
i like baby birds. we've got some in our mailbox right now, and they're so cute!
i like star trek.
I LOVE SPOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gt a lyf u losrs!!!!!! omg how cn u h8t mcfly?!!
i will respond to the angry rant paragraph-for-paragraph.
i hate people like that too, meaning the first paragraph.
and the second
not so much the third, though im sure i would if i had much experience with them.
be nice to disgusting people, they don't know what they're doing most of the time.
...okay...it's strange though. i have a hard time accepting compliments. i jost don't feel like i deserve them mopst of the time and it makes me uncomfortable. for some things i will accept them though, such as my chin-music, i don't seem to have a hard time with that...
yes.
yes.
yes.
you don't screw everythingg up. i feel like a do a lot too. just try to step back from your emotions and realize that you don't screw everything up and it's not always your fault when things go wrong.
meh.
yes.
YYYEEESSS!!!!!!!
meh.
good idea!
now for happyrant
yes.
yes.
YES!
meh
meh
me too, i am quite attatched to my friends.
yes.
agreed.
you should come over here some time. we have a big wooded park right by our house where i hike and break wicca crap (we have a lot of "modern witch" people in our town and they like to go there and do their little ceremonies and make little stonehenge things). but if you stay out of the deeper parts it's a very nice park. oh, and you can't go across the lake, that's where the goths/stoners/neo-nazis hang out.
don't know if i've ever had lime soda. i've had sprite and stuff like that if that's what you're talking about.
yes.
yes.
for some reason me too.
sounds like fun.
i have a terible singing voice. i took up pipes/whistle because you have to be blowing contantly so you have a good excuse not to sing.
okay.
yes.
we have some little robins on our front step but their psycomomma will divebomb you if you get within a few feet of them.
okay.
no comment.
oh yeah, and i like flogging molly!
by lime soda i do NOT mean sprite. i don't like sprite or 7-up at all. what i mean is..... okay, go to the Hispanic section of the grocery store. if they have a soda section there, check out the lime green soda. it's flavored lime, really sweet though, and it's just really good soda. and the color is incredibly cool. and they have this pink guava soda that also tastes quite good. but lime green is a lot better for the coolness factor. you know, you miss out on a lot by not trying out Mexican candy/soda/food in general.
do you remember my angry rant about how much i hate having to fill in the bubble what race i am? if you do remember it, all those feelings of anger and frustration with stupid forms are again surging within me. if you don't remember the rant i think i shall say my bit all over again.
omg, in that bulletin was that jerk evildrdoom01 calling ME a bitch?! cuz if he was, i am even more mad at him than i was already!!!!!!!!
wow i love flogging molly. next comment will be a lengthy rant. although you may remember it, i think it's time for me to rant about it again...... like, you rant about evangelicals a lot. so i will do the same about the things that annoy me.
okay, so as many of you people reading this know, i am 3/4 white and 1/4 Mexican. so on the forms, wth am i supposed to say? i can't say 'white, not of Hispanic origin'. i am white AND of Hispanic origin. i can't say Hispanic, because i'm not. i mean, i'm very white, in skin color and in culture. i don't really consider myself Hispanic. multiracial?! LOL!! um...... nope, that one won't work either. they ask for your race the way your family, friends, and you see it. needless to say, NOBODY in this universe thinks of me as 'multiracial'. so we come back to 'white, not of Hispanic origin'. and again we come back to BUT I AM WHITE, AND I AM ALSO OF HISPANIC ORIGIN!!!! YOU STUPID FORM!!!!!!!!!!!! i could always say 'other' just to be perverse, but since i AM 2 of the races mentioned, that hardly works either. so usually i say white. occasionally i say multiracial. but i always fill in the little bubble thing with more viciousness than is strictly necessary. BECAUSE IT'S STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why is it any of their rotten BUSINESS what race i am? how does that affect my test score? it should not matter, and yet i have to do it. and as for having to fill in my name when there's only room for ONE middle initial....... ohhh, don't get me started! with that situation: my identity is so important to me that i just say 'screw you' and fill in two initials, even though there's only supposed to be one in there. no one has done anything to me yet. i wonder how it would be if i refused to state my race?...... i think i'll do that next time i have to take a standardized test. speaking of standardized tests, did i ever mention how much i hate standardized tests?! no?!!! well, i do hate them. who makes up those lame, stupid, easy questions anyway?!?! way to tell me the government thinks i'm stupid!!!! who are they to set the standards for ME?! who are they to tell me what i should or should not know?!!! I HATE STANDARDIZED TESTS, ANNOYING QUESTIONS ABOUT RACE, AND FORMS THAT DON'T TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE FACT THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE TWO MIDDLE NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it annoys me tremendously. goodbye, i have to go help my family.
omg we just made chocolate ice cream! homemade ice cream is the best! and we put marshmallows in it!!!!! life has suddenly ceased to be ugly..... you know what tastes good? sea salt and vinegar chips and marshmallows. oh wow.... chocolate ice cream tastes better though. and brats. can you believe that when Kerry came to Sheboygan, he said brats but he pronounced it like as in spoiled brats instead of Johnsonville brats?! way to demonstrate your ignorance! i just got chocolate stuff all over my chin. but then my mom made me wash it off. ohhhh, i love chocolate ice cream!
bob, check your email
OMG!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!! the mcfly fan you banned is going on Mcfly music vids telling all mcfly fans to leave a nasty comment!!!!!! teehee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEHEE!!!!!!!!!! haha LOL!!!!!!!!!! more exposure to the vid.... wow she's dumb, she's just getting you more attention.
i don't like mexican food, although i had some mexican candy once and it was good.
no, he was calling amy a bitch. i think. if not i will murder him.
this is the perfect place to rant. it's the reason for ML's existance.
oh, in Bob News i made out a will last night. i don't expect to live that long (what with the various things i do/blow up, the people i piss off and what i plan on doing for a job) so i thought it wise. you're all in there a bit.
since you're more white i'd say go with white and a note or something. nobody realy cares.
i have two middle names...
mmm...chocolate...
i got a hip flask a little while ago. i love it. every time a get an energy drink i put 1/4 of it in and make all sorts of sickening flavors!
teehee. idiots. you know that's a good thing right idiots? (not realy speaking to anyone here). i want more comments and the reason i made that vid was to piss everyone off. they are playing right into my hand. *steaples fingers evilly, sits back in leather chair*
i love these people. it's like being a roman general and obnliterating some barbarian hoards.
omg. if you tried Mexican food the way my mom makes it, you would change your mind right away, let me assure you. the Mexican restaurants around here are crap. homemade is the best, trust me.
NOW evildrdoom01 is using racist terms for French people! he is giving all us Mcfly haters a bad name. Bob.... you should poke him harder.
and that is exactly why i ranted here: it is the perfect forum for such rants.
i was actually thinking of making a will last night! maybe i should do that now.....
I CARE!!!!!!!!!
i know you have 2 middle names and i also know what they are. so there. :-p
omg you just gave me something to use for homework i'm behind on! thank you!!!
okay.
i shall. although i sdon't like the french. but still, he shall be poked hard.
you shouldn't. wills are for old people or people who have a shorter life expectancy. like me. you're fairly normal, it'll just depress you.
okay then.
you're welcome.
ever heard of a song called "red flag" by billy talent? good song if commie propaganda. it's on youtube if you want to listen.
i can't sleep.
sorry you can't sleep. maybe if you didn't take so much bloody caffeine, you would sleep better. yes, that was a good song. anyway... i'm bored. and i actually did write my will last night. yeah, i have to go to my first class now. \\//.
okay. my caffine intake has nothing to do with it. you were always jealous of what we have...
seriously i had almost no caffine last night, so that had nothing to do with it. got a bit on my mind, i'll youtube you about it.
good, now if it's on a computer print it and delete the file. then don't think about it ANYMORE. except to tell people they're cut out of your will, that's always fun.
heehee. messed wtih stoners today. they tend to hang out at the park down the street from me. there's a huge lake at the park, and even though it's freezing cold they like to jump in if they're realy baked. so today i noticed two of them (extremely high) jumping from rocks to water and swimming back. so dressed in my trenchcoat and CIA hat i stood on a large rock above where they land and waited for them. eventualy they came back, and noticed me. the first one yelled, the second one turned and jumped and almost fell into the lake (but sadly, didn't). then i told them to watch out for the enormous snapping turtle that lives in the lake (which is true) and walked away, leaving them confused and slightly disturbed. ah, nice day.
gosh i'm stupid. i stay up way too late. i have to get up at like six tomorrow and now it's 1:30. AAAAAACK!!!!!!!grr. i hate needing sleep. it's no fun. i am going to have to print something out on the computer for Latin and shower and do all this crap and you know what? i wish i could sleep about three or four hours more than i'm going to. but hey, i've got two class periods during which i can sleep. goodnight now. i'm tired.
goodnight!
ug, formal today. and math test, which i flunked. and another slight wave of depressed anger. ah well, hopefully watching a bunch of promgoers jump up on their seats screaming "mouse" will help, assuming that one works. i shall go nap and shoot things now.
good luck with the pranks!!!!
SO WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
heehee. i got my arch nemisis (extremely obnoxious, too-good-for-you brat) with the crisco! friend and i sloshed it on the toilot seat and right away he came in, sat down and began yelling about the crap all over his butt!
unfortunately, nobody noticed the rat :(
i danced way too much. i hated most of it, but the girls outnumbered the guys 3 to 1 so even the intreverts were forced to dance. girls would sit and look extremely depressed, and since they instated a Rule of Doom this year (guys must ask girls) we would go over and ask them.
kind of ironic, the later it got the stupider i got, the stupider i got the more i would ask people to dance. good right? WRONG! because also the later it got the more uncoordinated i got.
it was okay, we had a good time on the headbanging songs and it was nice to see people. so not a total loss.
omg!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's awesome!!!!
sorry about no one noticing the rat....
that's an INCREDIBLY stupid rule!!! you should complain about how sexist it is. girls nearly always ask guys to dance, it's the way of teenagers. stupid grownups should just get over themselves and their stupid old-fashioned rules.
meh...... i look like a complete dork when i dance. it's worse when i'm trying to dance with a group of friends which includes Emily, because she actually looks great when she dances..... and i look like a complete dork. but i have fun with it. (i probably dance worse than you, i kid you not)
overall it sounds like it was fun. especially the part with the crisco..... LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! if the guy who gave me that one were still speaking to me, i'd probably tell him about its success. maybe i can through one of our many mutual acquaintances. i don't know if he'd appreciate hearing from me at this point, though. ah, well, whatever. live long and prosper.
I feel left out.
So hi.
aw..... poor aiden! hi there. i will email you sometime this week, hopefully. i would say a lot more but i have to go now. really, i have to leave now, live long and prosper
Emails give me something to do.
Yeah.
And this should give you guys something to do!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=PDvxiIaH1WQ
i love crushing people's heads. it can be very entertaining.
oh, one thing i forgot about the prom, The Rat. we all knew the DJ and he annoyed us all immensely. he is one of those people who acts like you're wasting his time if you talk to him. we nicknamed him Rat, The Rat and Ratface.
for those of you who aren't nerds i will inform you of one famous scene from hamlet from which we derived a running joke. hamlet notices someone spying on him from behind his drapes, shouts "how now, a rat!" runs him though and proclaims "dead for a ducket, dead!"
so we decided to apply that to The Rat, and on the way out we all walked by him and simultaniously muttered "how now, a rat!" he became very confused and didn't quite know what to think. lots of fun.
it's easy enough to look like you know what you're doing if you just waddle to the beat of the music. everyone there was BSing it nobody realy looked stupid, for which i am profoundly greatful.
aw indeed, we like having you around. hi.
*screams some more
I've decided, that when no one is in the store, I'm going to stand in front and crush the people's heads that walk by.
Should be fun.
*screams back
that sounds like fun.
one of these days im going to call the local grocery store and have them page Amanda Love.
Dick Hertz and I.P. Freely are also classics.
i just sent a youtube message to 0summerthestupidbitch. i told her if she commented on my account again, i'd block her. i also told her that you were a wonderful person.
\\//. just watched star trek II. i cried... as usual. i'm really very emotional, have you noticed? i always thought i was extremely unemotional. but now i know better. goodnight then, bob. love ya.
CAMELS RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i shall talk about church-related stuff later. like, tomorrow..... see ya.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!(i love shatner....)
ah, the clssics...thing about them is that everyone knows them so they don't fall for them.
just ignore her, save yourself the time and jsut block her now. man, i realy let her have it last time so don't even try. she deserved all of it though.
ya, i noticed that you're a very emotional person. i'm not so much, well, in some ways. i can deal with pain alright, although like with everything else there are exceptions. i'm much more sensative to beauty and the like, almost cried the first time i read a detailed description of the battle of thermopolae, actuly did (a little) the first time i heard Foggy Dew. but for the most part if you tell me my cat was never put down and is coming back i would shrug and say "cool."
Ha, Amanda Love. That's funny.
=)
Yeah actually crushing heads (when I found the time between walking around the store a thousand times and going in and out of the back room) was entertaining.
I spent the first 5 minutes before I had to clock in crushing heads.
It was great.
My boss didn't notice, thank goodness. She would have gotten worried and told me not to crush the heads of the customers.
cool! where do you work?
I work in Hot Topic in the mall.
Two places I never really wanted to work in the first place. But the manager asked if I wanted the application so I took it and now I have a job.
Which is cool I don't mind it. I just don't always like it.
cool. never realy been there...should go some time.
i'm so bored..... ugh, i'm bored.
Hot Topic is actually a pretty cool store, and they specialize in the type of music you listen to Bob, so I would stop by the second you have the chance.
i am bored as well. people annoy me. but at least it is friday. i will email you and maybe call if i think of it and don't pass out.
i will stop by. wait, they supply kilts?
i have recently become completely obsessed with the band "thrice" especialy the song "music box" anyone ever heard of them? i may have asked this already but i've forgotten.
went to see Pirates 3 last night (the midnight showing) so now i am tired after sleeping until 2 pm. great movie though. i love seeing Orlando Bloom impaled.
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