The other day Bob went to a tiny little town of maybe 4000 for a gun show (which, by the way, he missed) and it suddenly occured to him that he had stepped into the twilight zone. It was a small midwestern town inhabbited by the strangest bunch of yokels you could imagion. when we first came in we needed directions to the gun show so we stopped at a little gas station. a tiny little rusty, crappy, dirty gas station, and after getting directions from a kind of weird pair of old women we started to pull away. then Bob noticed the soda machine. it was old. REALY old. about 1965 old. and in perfect condition. this wouldn't have been quite so odd if everything around it weren't completely dirty. absolutely everything within a twenty foot radius of this machine was completely caked with filth, but not the machine. so i shook my head and focused on other things. we passed some very old houses intersperced with very new houses (weird) and then anohter gas station, with a red chevy, a green ford and a black loncoln at the gas pumps, which would still be there in 5 hours when we left (also weird). but anyway we found out that the show wouldn't be on that day and after much sorrow and grief (ie: "oh. crap.") we decided to go (surprise surprise) to the antique shop. it was an nice one with some old lady crap that annoyed bob and a completely out of place bathroom.
after we spent several hours in there we went toThe Resturaunt. not one of the resturaunts, The Resturaunt. this is a town about as big as the one i live in, and we have at least a dozen, they have only one place to eat, well, actualy they have a chinese place which is strange and i susspect run by the mob like the one here, but i'll get to that in a minute. The Resturaunt was a little itallian place called Marios, which actualy had very little italian food in it. our waiter looked exactly like Dave King (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radioassets/photos/2006/8/29/3308_2.jpg on the left, red hair) only he had a lame hand and some sort of speach impedament.
the chinese place which i walked by called simply "dragon" was also weird. i looked in the window and noticed that it looked exactly like the kind of store mob bosses always own in mob movies. and there was nobody in it, although there was an open sign in the window. outside they had menues for the place, and although they were paper, it was a windy day and there wasn't a rock or anything on top of them, none were flying away. weird.
and did i mention that the streets were completely void of people? yes! not a soul dared walk on the sidewalk or street. another place that seemed deserted was the train yard, and although the trains were running nobody was ever visible.
now before i go completely crazy i should mention the bar. as i walked down the street from where we parked to where the crap shop--er--antique store was i went by one of the fifteen bars there. i could hear the rib-rattling music of a live band inside, as well as the hooting of the fans. i tried to see if i could recognize the song but couldn't so i continued on. ten minutes later i walk by it again and it is completely deserted.
that's just a few of the weird things in that town, i won't even mention how half the store-fronts had buisness signs in them but nothing inside, and completely ignore the strange little bakery kid.
so the point is, as i have always thought, bob attracts strange things, which, i guess, includes towns.
the haunchies made me do it!
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53 comments:
I like how you said "out of place bathroom." It sounds as if you do not expect to see a bathroom in an antiques shop.
WHy is it tons of people comment anonymously on your blog? Are they scared to admit they know you? I'm not going to give my reason....
Woah. You must be cursed or something. ;)
i am cursed. nobody's disputing that.
the bathroom was very strange because the whole shop was extremely neat and tidy and the bathroom was the most disgusting hellhole this world has ever seen (excluding, of course, my room) and to get to it you for no appearent reason had to go through about fifteen layers of hanging sheets. it was very strange, not unlike the rest of the town.
anonymous, are you my regular treky anonymous? because i though you were grounded, unless it's someone else. and yes, people in general are very scared to admit that they know me.
slante
nope, that anonymous was NOT your regular Trekkie anonymous. that would be me. and, for pity's sake, PROOFREAD YOUR BLOG ENTRIES!!!! I'll list all the words you misspelled in this blog entry alone. inhabited, imagine, really, interspersed, another, Lincoln, restaurant, actually, suspect, Italian, impediment, menus(you spelled void right, but devoid is the correct word) i mean HONESTLY!!!! you drive me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! i've been holding this in long enough! rant rant rave rave rant rant. did i tell you that yeah, this is me, your Trekkie pal? the, um, OTHER anonymous is not me. i suppose i could have read your blog secretly, but that would be... disrespectful to my parents, and deceitful, and just not a nice thing to do. so i didn't. maybe anonymous people should sign their names. or at least their initials. or just identify themselves in some manner. well, see ya.
ya, that last post was especialy bad as i had no time to write and too slow a computer to spell check.
anonymous people (who are not Trekkie) should sign their names! bah!
there are two L's in especially. and, since i'm a Trekkie, i guess i don't have to sign! woohoo!!
stup kerrekting mee spll%ng!
oh, btw short people, i just used my blog to move my novel from crappy to not so crappy computer, so you might end up getting some weird things, sorry if you do.
your novel? is it on the internet? if so, give me the link. and, alright ALRIGHT already! i'll stop nagging you about the spelling....
it's not on, it was, i uploaded it from the Piece of Crap as a post for about two minutes and then went to the Good Computer and put it into Word. I may give you a copy sometime but it'll be a while, once i edit out ALL the filler and out in a few thousand words of actual good writing, but it'll be a while.
'out' here meaning 'put'
Wow...That is freakin creepy.
I will steer clear of this town.
i actually want to go to that town now... just so i can see for myself how creepy it is. because i enjoy the creepy and/or weird. and the just plain bizarre... maybe next time i see you i'll tell you some REALLY weird stories from mythology. valete, omnes!
so you like the weird strange towns? you ever heard of the midget town around here? it's supposed to be near the big city to the east of the city you live in/i live near.
supposedly it's occupied by dozens of little people who will fire a warning buckshot through your car window if you go near them. it's an old tale around here that some people will swear to by their dear mother's graves. the day i get my own car i'm going there.
you better take me with you!!!!!!!
oh guess what? actual conversation with a guy at school:
me: do you like Nightwish?
him: they suck.
me: what makes you say that?
him: they just suck.
me: so... HOW exactly do they suck?
him: they just do.
it is my opinion that he is not very knowledgeable of what he was talking about. and that's why he had absolutely nothing to say, and nothing to back up his claim. it's probably just a thing of, he only likes metal if it's death metal. but i can't read his mind. so, yeah, ah well, ttyl and all.
ya fine but you might want to sit in the backseat as they have been known to shoot the passenger side seat. mean midgets.
that guy's using mcfly fan lodgic!!!
me: why do you like mcfly?
fan: 'cuz.
me: can you give a reason?
fan: they're good.
me: how?
fan: they just are.
me: *puts on trenchcoat, takes up ax+hackey mask, goes psyco*
i can't stand dim-wits like that. he probably likes what he likes because that's what's popular in his 'circle' (see any one of the dozens of conformity rants left about)
in other words, they're using illogic. anyway..... yeah, actually, i'd like to sit next to you. i mean, i'd like to see your face and have a proper conversation with you before i die. because they might miss and hit the backseat if i were sitting there and i'd die anyway. yeah. so, i'll hold you to that promise. when you get a car, you're taking me out looking for weird towns.
p.s. i won't even get into the topic of your spelling..... ;)
have you seen the video for 'the saga begins'? y'know, the weird al song? it's AWESOME. it's so funny. although i know you've probably seen it dozens of times already, like i have. well have fun with your life.
i haven't seen that one yet, but it reminds me of another i watched a while ago. it's funny for people, very funny for nerds and absolutely hilarious for final fantasy nerds.
no, we have to leave the passenger seat open. there are two versions of the story, both are from people in the same party. here's how it goes. (btw, the place is nicknamed Haunchyville)
a few people go into this tiny strange little town. all over the place ther are dozens of midgets, and they are all crabby. after only a few minutes there their car is rammed by some midget in an 1970s Oldsmobile. the car runs them out of town and as they hit the out road the driver stops and flips the midget off. that's when the cute little guy pulls out what was probably a 20 gague (a 12 would knock him back several feet) and blows their window in. one source says he shot in the driver's side side window another says they shot in the windshield and kicked up some stuffing on the seat next to the driver. after some gun-nerd review i think the second is most likely. there're a million other tales about the place, but no time to tell them all now.
you've convinced me. but after we leave, i get in the passenger seat. agreed? and how were you on the computer at 2 in the morning?! i guess the lesson learned from the story of the weird town is: don't flip people off! (but maybe he'd shoot at you anyway...)
fine, btu ethan sits on top of you so he gets shot (he's expendable). and as for the time i was on the computer...mumble.
you're horrible..... i will NOT have anyone sitting on top of me. and Ethan is not expendable. and you know what? if you take Ethan and me, you'll probably end up having to take Richard. but he'll be older then, so i guess it won't be as bad... i'm sorry, he just.... gets on my nerves. a lot. as do you. see you later then. i have to go back to cleaning my room. actually, i don't have to, but i want to get it done today. so yeah, bye.
my room is scary. i have to tell people to watch out for pointed objects and if something bites them bite it back. actualy we'd probably want to take as many people as possible with us, just in case we run into a colony of midgets then we'll have several people who can attest to the fact that we saw them.
okay.... i know at least one person who'd love to come along. she's the crazy girl i told you about, with the whole jumping-jacks in public thing she and i did. and, yeah, how big a car are you getting? because it would be: you, me, Ethan, Richard, her..... that makes up five. and i hardly think you're getting a car that can seat more than five people.
yeah. come to think of it it'd probably barely fit me. unless i got some crappy old van, and buy the time i get to drive i may be able to buy that green piece of crap off my dad. i also know a guy who wants to go to midgetville, that'd make 6, which is what the piece of crap can hold.
okay then..... you do realize that 'midget' is an offensive word? and that maybe if you didn't call little people midgets then maybe they wouldn't want to shoot you? anyway, six people. sounds good. *needs caffeine* nyway, yeah, bye.
ya, ya. it's faster than 'little people' but if i ever run into one i won't be that rude.
speaking of needing caffine, i've decided, as an experiment, that i won't have any for a few days. i'm 16 1/2 hours through it and it's already no fun. first i ended up sleeping 14 hours because i couldn't have coffee when i woke up, forcing me to fall asleep on my school books, and now i have a monster headache (no pun intended).
ya, ya. it's faster than 'little people' but if i ever run into one i won't be that rude.
speaking of needing caffine, i've decided, as an experiment, that i won't have any for a few days. i'm 16 1/2 hours through it and it's already no fun. first i ended up sleeping 14 hours because i couldn't have coffee when i woke up, forcing me to fall asleep on my school books, and now i have a monster headache (no pun intended).
i know a guy who can never have any caffeine at all. lucky him. yeah..........you should probably stop being addicted to it (and everything else you're addicted to... ) and thank you for not correcting my spelling in the other comment i made today. bye then.
yeah, what's it gonna do, stunt my growth? and anyway it's the only way i can get uop in the morning (seriously, i'm no good at that)
neither am i. but i get up anyway.... WITHOUT caffeine, i might add! anyway, you are too young to be addicted to anything. in the end, it won't be good for you. i am serious. my mom was addicted to caffeine for a long time, and now she's quitting and not having to have coffee all the time is better. also, caffeine doesn't really affect you until an hour after you drink it. anything before that is purely psychological. personally, i use loud, fast music to get up in the morning. it helps. really! it's just getting in the right mindset. stunting your growth is a bad argument against caffeine. and it doesn't apply to either one of us (you because you're tall, me because i've finished growing already, therefore it can't affect me) so yeah. and why are we talking about caffeine?! there are so many more interesting things to talk about... for instance i just spilled chocolate drool on my new shirt that is really cool. sad sad. and i've taken to wearing eyeshadow like all the time. that's REALLY what gets me awake and stops me from feeling rotten and tired. um..... i just heard a REALLY sick myth today! i'll tell you later.... some things just can't be conveyed over the internet.... so what's new with you?
most people are addicted to something, if they realize it or not. i jsut keep my addictions to caffine/24.
caffine does have an immediate effect, that theory was disproven a long time ago, it takes 2-3 minutes to disperse throughout your body. i actualy just did get an alarmclock/cd player for that purpose, and dropkick murphies does work well to get one up, but my problem is once i'm up if i don't have any love (caffine) i fall asleep in the middle of school or end up answering questions like 2+2 with "Attila the Hun". and i would stop if i could, but otherwise i have absolutely no energy that day. pluss it makes me happy, one of the best side affects.
what's new with me...nothing! i'm a very boring person. i'm reading the new Anne Coulter book and currently editing my novel along with planning out ways to ditch/smokebomb prom, adn yelling at mcfly fans on the side. that's my free time, take your pick.
see, the music gets me up.... the eyeshadow KEEPS me up. okay. so i hardly think smokebombing the prom is a good idea, although it does sound like fun. don't you like dances? at least SOME dances. some are pretty... well...... bad. i think i'll go to the mcfly videos (with the screen down and the sound off) and read your comments once again. okay, i think i'll take a shower, possibly watch some Star Trek, and go to bed. i might check your blog before that, though. so yeah. and if you left me a comment, i guess i'd reply. gosh, people are stupid. bye then.
i absolutely hate dances. they're unfomfortable and you're expected to do something that you may well not want to do. our local homeschool prom is REALY stupid and i have some friends who keep telling me to go and on several occasions have threatened to kidnap me and force me to go to it. that is why i need a tazer.
i absolutely love the idea of confusion and chaos amongst people i truely despise (the people who go to said prom are real jerks, almost all of them) and i have for some time. i also like planning things out, especialy tactical strikes of some sort, and smokebombing the prom is a good example of that. nobody dies, nobody is realy hurt, but bob pulls off the BIGGEST PRANK IN THE WORLD! i seriously do intend on going to a prom in a kilt some day, jsut because they specificly say 'only tuxes' and so i get to protest loud and long. heehee.
if your on the mcfly comments, watch for someone named Particon, great guy.
come on..... dancing is fun! and anyway, yeah, you SHOULD show up in a kilt. in fact, i've never seen your kilt. which is sad. but anyway, seriously, wouldn't you get in huge trouble for that? like, i don't think anything with the word 'bomb' in it is really good for you if you don't want to be in MAJOR trouble. you should come to our school in a kilt. i mean that. when you come to school with me, come in a kilt and your got kilt? shirt. that would be HILARIOUS. haven't seen Particon..... seen mcflyplaysbadmusic's comments. and yours of course. i wish i had a youtube account, then i could back you up. but i'd have to ask my mom first. well, bye. oh, and, by the way, is Ethan really sick or something? because the last email i got for him he said he was 'mildly sick' and i haven't gotten anything from him since. and that was a while ago. so yeah. bye.
dancing is NO FUN! i absolutely hate it. you feel awekward and bored and like a prick.
yeah, ethan's sick, leaving me to do ALL the shoveling (mutter grumble).
btw, mcflyplaysbadmusic is me. they banned me (wallaceshead) on some of their vids, so i made a new account! and i will keep making them every time they ban me! mwahahahahaha! seriously you should get a youtube account some time, you can tell people what you think about their useless vids!
very few people have seen me in my kilt, a couple friends one time @ the renaissance fair, that's about it.
i definitely want to get a youtube account. but i'd have to ask my parents, and they might say no. and, yeah, tell Ethan i say hi and i'm sorry he's sick and all that. and don't forget, alright?! and yeah, i think i'll go do homework and ask permission to get a youtube account. bye.
i've decided to start a cult, where people give all their worldly posessions to me and thus (to the california hippies that would buy that) become spiritualy enlightened!
good luck with that.
heehee. quite honestly, i think that sort of a cult (the cult-like kind) that rips people off and takes all their money is a LOT better than the cults that call themselves Christian and do the same thing. so, anyway, what's with the 'strange little bakery kid'? explain, please...
so we go into this bakery which has kind of an old-timey feel to it, except all the furniture, floors and stuff like that is completely new. in the corner is a pac-man set (obviously an origional) and over the loudspeakers is knarf sanatra, all these things contradicted each other in style, which made the place weird. and as we walk in some 11-12 year old kid comes up to take our order, though he was so short all you could see above the counter was his crew-cut. his immediate question was "would you like bakery or chilli?" and after a few stunned seconds my dad sputtered out bakery and got a cookie. VERY weird, especialy with the kids REALY low voice.
it was just weird and very out of place.
okay then. yeah, bye. hopefully i'll see you tonight. but probably not. oh well.
ya, we're sick. sorry.
hello again. i HATE the weather today. but oh well, my life goes on: homework and sleep. yeah, w/e. bye.
i'm sorry to have to tell you this, really, but i think you've lost your credibility on the whole youtube mcfly thing. the issue is not the way the band members look. the issue is that they play bad music and their videos are disgusting. when you started saying the guys were ugly, you just sounded REALLY super immature. so my advice to you would be to get a new account. again. and try not to sound like you're insulting EVERYTHING ABOUT MCFLY!!!!! the way you're talking, it sounds like you just have this huge grudge against mcfly (which i realize you do, but it doesn't make for a good/logical/reasonable/MATURE argument that people will listen to) i would advise you to tone down the hate, give good, reasonable arguments against it, and have fun insulting the mcfly fans. but not every single thing about mcfly. alright? and you do know i agree with you all the way, right? i just don't think you sound very mature the way you're going about it. yeah, i think i will ask my parents for a youtube account soon. and then i'll come and argue with mcfly fans. and then i can send you private messages via youtube, right? so then i won't have to keep writing all this stuff on your blog. and, yeah, thanks for everything. bye.
thing about that is they don't listen to reason. AT ALL!! the insulting them thing is just to get to them. it's the only thing that gets a reaction out of them at all, but every now and then you got one or two who'll listen and from that you can often convince them. sometimes saying that they are stupid and ugly is the only way to get them into a conversation, and as sad as it is that's sometimes what has to be done. i much prefer the calm exchange of ideas to the pointless shouting of 'he's ugly' but sometimes one leads to the other.
i hardly agree with that. if you say something really immature and ridiculous, people will just turn you off to begin with. a good, rational argument, or maybe even something that applies to me personally (such as: 'someday you'll grow up and stop listening to bad music') would win me over more than just random attacks on my idol. have a good day.
i'm sorry if i was rude or mean. treely rooly. (actually i am sorry.) yeah. ugh, school. bye.
nah, it's your opinion. the thing is they don't respond to rational arguement, you have to hook them into youtube mailing you by pissing them off and then you can actualy speak calmly and realy convince them. i did tht to CrispPrissy, she's basicly stopped listening. it does work for some.
oh, btw, Ethan Old Thing and me are going to get a new van from my grandparents, back monday, bye til then.
This is me, your regular trekkie anonymous. But I'm getting a friend to type and post this for me, because I am grounded (again) until further notice. Could you please tell Ethan? Thanks a lot.
sure, sorry about the grounding. we got a new van. woot. new post coming soon.
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