dog crap...

one day, while twirling his mustache, laughing evilly and collecting the mortgage from the old woman, bob realised he has not yet told the rest of the nutt house about the Dog Crap Guy, or the Cryptic Sign Guy.Bob and family were on vacation one year and were coming back from the beach. as we went up the hill to where our car was parked we came upon a man who was coming out of the bathroom. he said hello and soon he and my parents were chattering away. he lived generaly near us so that got them talking even more. suddenly, and for no appearent reason this guy just starts going "y' know, I have a nice lawn. but my stupid neighbors let their dogs crap all over it..." (here he decended into a long string of angry words that were more mumbles than words. Bob will relate what he could make out:) "(mumble, mutter) dogs crap on my lawn...(mutter) dont let my dogs CRAP on their lawn... (mumble) (mumble) dog crap... (mutter)...gets stuck in the mower...(mutter mumble), dog crap!" as all of us stood confused and at a loss for words, another man came up, from the dog crap guy's back. Bob should probably mention that this was a state park with a kind of gate. this other guy walked up, looked around, smiled and in a voice amasingly like Comic Book Guy from Simpsons said
"whould some whone please explain the rhather cryptic sign up ahead that says 'gates close at 8'. does that mean gates litteraly 'close at 8', or there shall be no admittance hafter the eighth hour?" as we all stood shocked and confused by the simply surreal events unfolding, a young boy of maybe five came running up and lovingly jumped on his dad (Cryptic Sign Guy) to give him a hug. Cryptic Sign Guy flinched slightly from the impact and then turn ed slowly around. In a firm but quiet voice he said to the child "Do not do that Richard." those five words have become a normal saying around Bob's friends and family now (because I've told this story too many times). soon after we staggered, bewildered to our car and as soon as the last door shut burst out laughing. it was one of the most bizzare and funniest things Bob has ever experienced. other than the Old Man.

poor richard! his father must show him no affection at all. poor kid.
and in other news (well, that wasn't realy news, it happened a while ago) Bob prepares for NaNoWriMo!* wee! for those of thee that dont know, NaNo is National Novel Witing Month (that month being November), inwhich crazy people, like Bob and Bob's brother, write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. this involves a lot of computer time, a lot of coffe, a lot of sugar and a lot of monster, red bull, no fear, rockstar (ick), adrenoline rush, JOLT, chaser, vault, MDX, amp, full throttle, thousands of other energy drinks and over all a lot of writing. Bob is making the first true zombie novel (other than World War Z) and will soon not be rich and famous. basic plot, for those of you who wish it: zombies take over, only little pockets of humanity, one group decides to rescue art (so it's not all lost) and then---bob will tell you when he finds an ending.

oh and one more thing, if you haven't seen it, SEE IT NOW!!!!!: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/demented.php
the demented cartoon movie. even better than Lord of the Peeps.

Gleeg Snag Zip!
--bob++

www.nanowrimo.org