I have decided upon something. we need to bring back the duel. seriously, people should start dueling again. you see back in the day, not all that long ago, in fact, if you insulted someone it had consequences. now i could probably go up to someone on the street and call them an idiot and most likely they wouldn't do anything but laugh or call me something back. I could look at my brother and, as i so often do, say "you smell bad." and he would stare blankly. if i did either of those 200 years ago i and the offended person would exchange notes, then meet at dawn and take a couple shots at each other. most likely nobody would get hurt and we would shake hands and walk away. i propose we do this again. now, granted, the pistol/sword thing is a bit barbaric, but something slightly less fatal could be beneficial to the world. i was thinking paintball guns. they're inaccurate (as dueling pistols were supposed to be, even after rifling was invented) and if one didn't use a hopper there would still be the option of that nice dramatic pause between shots.
consider all the wonderful times one could duel. Bill Riley and Al Franken would have fought a dozen duels by now. if some guy cuts you off in traffic get his number and call him out. disorderly street fights would go down in numbers. people would not be able to insult one another without a consequence. politics would actually be fun. and best of all perhaps a sense of honor would be instilled in the disorderly mob that is our culture.
do you disagree with this? I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!!!
on a lighter, yet more important note, watch this video.
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Confutatis maledictis, voca me cum benedictis
About Me
- Bob son of Bob
- WI, United States
- How to explain...remember that bad dream you had a while ago? remember that horrible unseen thing that chased you through the streets while nobody answered your screams for help or your banging at the door? that was me.
23 comments:
What about dueling with pool noodles?
Did you see the episode of the Simpsons where Homer had that glove and he went around smacking people with it to get stuff? Cause he found out that when you did that it meant you challeneged someone to a duel, and he was so confident that no one else new that. So he did it to the wrong guy and they actually had to have a real duel with guns. Then Homer got shot.
Yeah, just thought I'd bring that one up.
I actually might have to agree with you, Bob.
Dueling would be pretty cool, in fact.
But.. paintball guns? Pool cues, dearie, pool cues and rubber band launchers for sure.
Anonymous: meh. rather wimpy. it at least has to hurt.
Aiden: awesome! h a v e to find that somewhere!
not Freddy: yes, you would agree. your pool cue duels are legendary...ethan still whimpers at night.
Anyone: two things to follow on this post. first, awesome book on the subject is called Gentalmen's Blood. and if you just want to cut right to the best duels in history do a bit of research on Alexander Keith McClung. killed over 100 men. my kinda guy.
Bob: First of all, I never hit your brother, or anyone else with a pool cue. I've hit people with gym balls, snowballs, and many, amny eggs, but never pool cues.
Second, even if that legend is true, it would not be classified as a duel, would it, just like randomly pulling out a gun and shooting someone would not be considered a duel.
Ethan is scared of me? Hey, that could come in handy... err, forget all that I said above.
yes, i'm sure you never did, but he thinks you did which can be really fun. some people think i can juggle geese. this comes in handy more often than you might think. just think what a cold-hearted executioner rep. could do for you.
Juggling geese... do I even want to know? I doubt it.
But yes, one probably could get some fun out of that, especially if that one were you.
Heh, well, Ethan actually isn't alone in his crazy ideas of me. A lot of the brother's friends are very afraid of me. I wonder why?
Some people think i've sat on 1085 recycled plastic milk jugs… it's true, actually.
That was in the same trip as deciding that dead fish laugh like Elmer Fudd.
N. Freddy: *sigh* i really need to get you some Firefly exposure.
perhaps because you're scary?
Mag:
what kind of trip was that?
It's really funny. When Homer gets shot, he says he has to eat pie first.
Bob: Prolly so.
Aww.. don't tell me you think so too?
Meg, wow... where DID you go?
And also, fish laugh? Like, dead fish? Laughing? Wooow...
well you are strangely quiet...who knows what could be lurking in that head?
Only around you, dearie. You might steal my ideas.
perhaps freddy jones: what other kind of dead fish are there?
It was a trip with Anna and two other giggly girls. Camping. On the first day we got our beloved ("blooded") sticks, and we named them and took them everywhere and they were dear… and the last night we stuck 'em in the fire. It was awesiome watching them burn, burn, BUUUUURN… What else did we do? That was the time a chipmunk ran into the tent… with me and another in it… Oh, and watching the sun set over Lake Michigan, and being "sentimental" and saying goodbye, and Anna said "And good ridance!" and i uttered a roar and chased her down and strangled her… *cough* we'd also run through the seagulls screaming about seagull persecution. And bury butterflies in the sand, most of them dead. Good times, good times.
Meg: Well, there's unlaughing dead fish.
And wow. Sounds like quite a trip. Makes me wish that my family actually went camping.
Speaking of duels, I want to see David Cassidy take on Conan O'Brien.
I don't know why that's so funny to me.
Can you picture that?!
hello everybody!!!
hello!!!
'ello all. again.
Aiden: that would be awesome!
Mag: quite a trip. butterfly sadists. in Madison you would be drawn and quartered.
Ahh, yes. In "Evil Madison". Meg, didn't you know that butterflies were meant to fly free?! Free! Free to implant themselves against car fenders? You were depriving them of their life's ambition! Shame on you!
I know right!? 70's pop superstar VS late night funny bean pole?
I would pay good money to see that.
i think my mom is going to challenge the local utility people to a duel...THAT would be funny!
Having only read the first five or so posts here, I feel the need to point out that I am not scared of UnFred. Also, unlike the clearly licentious blog author, I never claimed that Robin hit ME with a pool cue, simply that she hit PEOPLE with one. Which she did. No matter how vehemently she denies it.
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