Wednesday, August 29, 2007

High on God Part II/1984 Parenting Tips

okay, so i believe i have a loose end to tie up. unless i am mistaken i must sum up the second half of my evangelical overnight. i hate to say it, but there wasn't much to say two. to tell the truth i slept through half of it because half of it was (fake) sermons. after sermon number 539 we went for breakfast, which was burritos. but why that particular food? i have no idea. they were good burritos, but...not at 8 am. please. there was another, longer, stupider sermon and the day was more or less finished up. we sat around for a while, waiting for rides and arm wrestling. this is an old tradition among these people. you see myself and a few of the other guys (and a couple of the girls) are constantly competing to see who is the most masculine, and a wonderful way to do this is by arm wrestling, racing and just plain wrestling. that was fun.

now, on to the other subject Bob promised you, and as you all know, bob on occasion decides to honor his promises once in a while. I've decided that my parenting tactics are going to be based off of 1984. first, i will have a Two Minutes Hate against hippies and poodles. you may already know of my plans to have them call me Captain Sir (just to keep them in line) but i think that putting up posters of my face with the caption "Daddy is watching you" will help significantly. They shall, of course, be enrolled in the Junior Anti-Sex League and recite fluent Newspeak. I will as well have a tape of myself constantly repeating "War is peace, doing what i say is bliss, eating your vegetables is strength." perhaps that will keep them in line. perhaps. My children shall live under the Iron Fist of The Parent!

and speaking of 1984, here is Big Sister.

okay, something fun. somewhat good band vs slightly annoying band.

Goo Goo Dolls: love top wallow in sympathy (
Billy Tallent: has some good old fashioned pride (

by the way, one of my kids is totaly going to be named Winston.