Friday, April 20, 2007

I Am Man, See Me Nod

Bob has decided to mix things up a bit. instead of starting my post with "you know what pisses me off" i will begin it with
I've finaly found something that makes me happy. the manly head nod. When bob rides a bike, jogs, walks etc and passes some other guy who is similarly involved we nod our heads. i find this nice. it's a bit like the teen grunt. if you see someone on the street and pass them you grunt, which means that you have politely acknowledged their existence but don't have to go into a discussion about the weather.
it is the opposite with (no offense) women. if you attempt to pass a woman and one of you says "hi" then you are in for a long discussion about the weather and some stupid local school politics. all the 40-something women who ware trying to get in shape love to take time away from actually exercising to stop and chat about some stupid inane little subject with someone they don't even know. this is different with someone you do know, as it would be rather rude not to stop and say hello, but with a complete stranger you should not be obligated to speak more than a word or two.
the other day i went on a local bike trail for an hour or so, during which (yes, i was counting) i preformed the Manly Head Nod 8 times. i had to stop and chat once, which really pissed me off. it was some lady with a poodle.
i hate poodles.
i believe the Manly Head Nod should become a more regular thing, not limited to guys. i don't know, do women do that? some sort of Feminine Head Nod? or do they have their own thing, like waving or spitting?
another good one is a combination of the two, a Manly Head Nod and a Teen Grunt. i haven't run into that all that often but when i do it is quite nice. i find the Nod very encouraging, and i think if we continue along this path we may one day be a society of people who hardly talk at all. my kind of world.

oh, and new movie by Bob, all of it made at 2 AM BUT BEFORE YOU WATCH watch the one below.

The Battlefield, a beautiful, toutching movie

Sunday, April 15, 2007

You're It!

strange, but this weekend the world doesn't seem to be working so hard to spite me. something bad must be on the way.

anyway this weekend we went lazer tagging with some friends, for ethan's birthday party which was in january. and so after rescheduling several times due to colds, flues, weather and ethan going through detox we finaly got around to it. it started at the chinese buffet where i made my arteries hate me for ever more (mmm...bacon wrapped weiners...) and we made sun of the rather dumb goldfish.

we finnished that up and got to the main part of the afternoon: lazer tag. have any of you ever been lazer tagging ? Not back-yard style, i mean in an arena, such as Ultrazone or Lazerquest, Lazer Park etc. it was very crowded and hot when we got there, but in a fun way. off to the side was a video arcade with a sniper game (overpriced, but enjoyable) which we messed around with until they called our names for the "breifing." we all filed into a room where the very bored employee told us the rules and then informed us that there was to be "noshoving,puching,unspotsmanlikeconduct,climbing,crawlingorrunning" in the arena. we then had about ten minutes to talk and goof off while the game before us ended. we then chose teams (red, yellow or blue) and went into the vesting room, which looked something like the picture above, only cooler. the place had a very military feel to it (duh, we're shooting at each other...) but more than the rest the vesting room felt like we were about to go storm a compound. the vests were heavy but it felt right, i don't think it would be as much fun if we didn't have what felt like body armor on. they looked like SWAT team vests only with colored lights. when the employees gave the word the three teams flooded the rooms, sticking together or going solo. soon red lazers filled the air and the sound of running feet and shooting were everywhere. it was built like a maze, with colored walls and blacklights everywhere. fog was pumped into the rooms and there was kettle-drum filled music over the loudspeakers, all of which combined to make a long, 15 minute adrenoline rush. i did quite well that game, mainly due to the fact that a) i shoot and so could aim better than some and b) i am a tactics nerd and i know weird things (ie how to entera close-quarters room, where to watch for enemies, crap like that). firends and i stayed generaly together, splitting off and coming back sometimes. there was one time i remember in particular about this game. a kid was running down a long hall, i had no idea what he hpoed to accomplish by doing this, but he was on the enemy team so i fired once and him him square in the chest. his vest turned off (which is what happens when you are hit) and he ran away. very fun.
the second game was much the same, blacklights, music, bases, tactices, shooting, smoke, except that this game a group of 6 or 7 girls had begun playing, and being 10-year-old girls (no offense, girls) they had no idea how to fight (yes, i've decided to drop all the pretenses and call it fighting, because that realy is what we were doing) or where to go. i found them, at one point on the stairs between the two levels, where with a few quick flicks of the trigger i got each of them.
boy, for such little girls they didn't have mouths made of sugar and spice.
the hub of activity in this place is the Blue Base, which provides excelent firefighting places. so friend and i stormed it with another person on our team, and somehow got through more or less intact. that was very fun.
on the last game we got into the breifing room and after the employee had gone through her whole thing about the rules we had a few minutes to sit and wait. ethan and friend 1, who were on an opposite team from me and friend 2, started clapping, playing mob mindgames, and it worked. everyone was soon clapping, faster and faster until it just erupted into applause. that reminded them, of course, or "we will rock you" and the whole room erupted into it, banging on the bleachers and hands until it slowly faded away. you know, that song is basicly a tribal war chant. only instead of psycing the berzerkers up to go fight the Danish they we were psycing ourselves of to og after the other teams, or in the case of a sports game, when one is doing that one is psycing the players up to play harder against the other team, but either way it is basicly the same as in the dark ages.
that round went fine, and by the end i was tired and (even more than usual) wanted to go join a SWAT team.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

People Annoy Me

i wonder if the sewage people will have trouble purifying the weekend that i just threw down the drain. probably.
this past Friday and Saturday Bob and family went to a college, a small Lutheran one about six hours from Bob's tiny little liberal infested town. now that we have a new, not so crappy van the trip up there wasn't as bad as many, though it was longer than some. we got out of the house about 11:00 am and got bored about 11:03. i read some more American Gods and continued my memorization of every Flogging Molly song ever written, all of which made it somewhat fun. A little ways there i telepathically killed Ethan's CD player. while looking out the window i let my mind wander, and came up with the following disjointed thoughts.
wow, that car is even crappier than ours. i wonder if it has a CD player. probably. stupid crappycar CD player people. speaking of crappy CD players i bet Ethan's is going to die soon. Ethan's old portable CD player had been on the fritz for a few weeks now, making a clicking sound every time it was played. just then i tore myself away from the wet landscape to see Ethan banging on his CD player. i took off my headphones and looked at him.
"Did that thing just-"
"die! stupid piece of crap mumblejunk..."
i sat back and wondered at the past few moments, and eventually came to the conclusion that i had telepathically killed his CD player.
we then went to see some family on my dad's side who lives up by the college. they were nice, we talked, tried not to fall asleep while talking, had to stick our fingers in light sockets to stay awake while we talked etc. they were very nice, good food, nice dogs, and a very cool farm.
later we checked into a hotel and watched, well, made fun of, the old Helen Keller movie and drifted off to sleep.

the college was okay, little and rainy. we had crappy cafeteria food while Ethan did a scholarship interview. we then went to a church service which was actually very fun as there were about 100 or so people there and a very cool organ. when we were done with that w e trundled around some more while some brainwashed student told us about how "absolutely wonderful" their school was. she made me slightly sick. we then went to the bookstore for, and i do not exaggerate, two and 1/2 hours. 2:00-4:30. i have never hated books so much in my entire life, and that's saying something. when we finished that we went to a semi-formal dinner. any of you who know me well know that i hate "dinners" especially formal and semi-formal ones. we had to sit there and act like we had some class while making "pleasant conversation" while avoiding any subjects worth discussing. "no politics, no religion, no masons" is what parents constantly say so what else is there?
the one interesting part of the meal was when a waiter dropped a tray and several people went "oooooo!" WHO SAYS "ooo!" WHEN A WAITER DROPS A TRAY!!??!! it was like they had never seen crappy plates break before, or the dropping of the tray was some sort of slap in the face to someone, or the waiter would be fired for this. myself, my brother and his friends discussed this in depth, and came up with nothing. "ooo!"...idiots. *bob massages bulging vane in forehead, wipes sweat from face and unclenches fist*

so altogether, not a total loss, after all...oh, wait, total loss.

Bob has published a new youtube video! it is very fun as all the Mcfly fans are extremely pissed off.

As well as a trailer for a thing that doesn't deserve one, because it was 1 am and i felt like making it.

And an awesome sketch.