Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Plastic Bags In Trees.

I hate plastic bags in trees. How the hell do they get up there anyway? If a bag is floating, it floats close to the ground, but no, when it sees a tree it just has to soar higher and higher until it can cling to the branches like a needy child. And it's never stuck on the outer branches either. No. It's always wrapped all around the trunk, which means that the stupid bag had to freaking jet-pilot itself, X-wing style, between the branches to get there.
Over the weekend I went to Minnesota (a 5 1/2 hour drive) and back, and I saw 8 of them. Last time I saw three. Do you know what that means? They're reproducing.
Don't even get me started on plastic bags on fences.
Anyway, I just thought I'd let you all know because, of course, you really need to be informed on such things. Don't even think of trying to get them down, too, because they're always way too high up, and they're probably wet and full of gunk, and will forcefully throw said gunk at you if you try to ascend. I hate those things so much.
Goddamn plastic bags in trees.

Monday, March 15, 2010

It's the...

A brief history:
'The Ides of March' was made famous by Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar. To quote Shakespeare exactly, the scene went:

SOOTHSAYER: "Caesar! Beware the ides of March!"
CAESAR: "What the hell are the ides of March?"
BRUTUS: "Well, that's the fifteenth of March."
CAESAR: "Why that's today..."
[Caesar is brutally stabbed to death in slow motion]
CAESAR: "Et tu, Brute?"
< /Caesar >

So have a nice day, and beware!