And many happy returns

O blog, I hath abandoned thee! Or so it would seem. College, summer...other things have taken sad priority. But I am back for the moment, and I shall post again, having broken that terrible bout of Writer's Block. One of my favorite parts of college is Writers Group, which meets once a week here, during which we write, critique and write some more. At last week's episode our prompt was "The Existential Crises of Kings and Queens" and so I drew up a list...because I am a nerd.

1. No matter what King Conute says, waves JUST KEEP COMING IN.
2. Royal Shiatzu does not seem to understand Divine Right of Kings.
3. George I gets so wrapped up in things that he all together forgets the reason for all those taxes.
4. Queen Elizabeth I's infamous "Why can't I find a man!?" tirade.
5. Mary, Queen of Scots feels like she's "losing her head."
6. Edward the I just doesn't understand that Scotland still isn't his.
7. Edward II realizes that Daddy never loved him.
8. Henry V forgets what he was saying about St. Crispin's somethin; curls up into fetal position and cries.
9. King Lear.
10. Robert the Bruce's next animal metaphor is eaten before his eyes.
11. Upon reading about himself in the tabloids, Charles Edward Stuart stomps his feet and yells "I'm not a pretender, I'm NOT!"
12. Henry VIII wonders if it is he, not his wives, who have son-production problems.
13. Elvis is replaced by the Beatles.