Saturday, March 17, 2007

St. Patty's Day

it has occurred to me that Saint Patrick's Day has never been a big thing for me. why is that? my whole room is completely covered with plaid and i wear a kilt at every opportunity Bob gets, not to mention that i play pipes and can't wait to be old enough to drink. maybe it's how commercialized the whole thing has become, or maybe i wasn't loved as a child...I'm not completely sure. but this year has been a little different, i got up early today to catch a good Irish band on the local news (why must they put them on at 6:00 am?) and ended up staying up. after waking myself up with an old recording of "st. Patrick's day in the morning" (i know it's cheesy but i couldn't resist) i went out for a walk. cold out there. then came back here, spewed happy Gaelic at people on forums and chats, found something that reminded me of things i do with people and soon after the day started.
I donned my kilt and Ugly Brother and i went to see Ghost Rider (WORST MOVIE EVER!!!) and on the way through town we rolled down all the windows and put in a tape of "Bagpipes of Scotland" and turned the volume up all the way. that was very fun, just the looks on people's faces as they watched a very average looking mini-van go down the streets blaring the Skye Dance Song. priceless. as we got there we got our tickets and went in. immediately i spotted the best people in the lobby to mess with. the bikers. about 5 or 6 muscle-head guys were standing in a loose group, so, being bob, i walked past them and made them jump out of the way. soon after we wen to get a good seat (the movie wasn't going to start for a little while and Bob excused himself to go "get popcorn" but we all know that wasn't the case. i went out into the lobby and looked around. first target: grandma. she wasn't all that old, maybe late 50s, early 60s ish. so i innocently skipped past her and made her half-run away. she wasn't actually my target, rather the all too average looking man standing beyond her, but he just made a face where as she nearly pushed people out of the way to get away from me. next was the urinal. I'm sure you've all heard me speak of the great horrors of port-o-pottys when wearing a kilt, but urinals aren't any better, i assume. i walked into the men's bathroom and looked, there was one open one, right in the middle of a dozen men. i stood in front of it thoughtfully for a moment and watched everyone else slowly move away from that accursed place where they assumed i would go. i made them suffer for another 10 seconds of fake deciding then went into a stall. i could quite literally hear a sigh of relief from one man.
the rest of the day was pretty uneventful, i sat around, ate, drank, was merry, nice day altogether, attracted some nice attention with the kilt, my favorite kind, the confused kind!

and have i mentioned that people annoy Bob. they do. a lot.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

soothsayer says:

ACT I, SCENE II. A public place.
Flourish. Enter CAESAR; ANTONY, for the course; CALPURNIA, PORTIA, DECIUS BRUTUS, CICERO, BRUTUS, CASSIUS, and CASCA; a great crowd following, among them a Soothsayer CAESAR
and so they do, forgetting about the warning. later Caesar is stabbed by members of the senate. i have told you people and told you people but still you refuse to beware the ides of march! well guess what? now you are going to be stabbed by members of the senate. maybe next time you will listen to bob.
also, don't forget to look at the Wikipedia entry for Freemasonry, look under "religious objections or something like that. i may or may not have had something to do with all the anti-masonic evidence presented there, i will admit to nothing.

Monday, March 05, 2007


over the past week Bob has preformed an experiment on himself. no, not the werewolf syrum again, a different one. after someone pointed out the fact that although i am young i am completely addicted to caffine (if you count 2 cups of coffee and a Vault almost ever day addicted...) so i decided to try someting. for three days i had no caffine and for the rest of the week after that i had only 1/2 cup of milked dow coffee in the morning to keep me from litteraly falling asleep on my text books. this was the most terrible week of my life.
i woke up day 1 (monday, last week) and after barely keeping myself awake by shocking myself with a 9-volt every few minutes i got a headache. it was not fun, in fact it was downright painful. after that (teehee) i became sluggish and tired. not a fun day.
day 2: another headache, not as bad. not so tired
day 3: no headache, tired.
now after this i began having coffee, 1/2 cup filled the rest of the way with milk. this was because i dropped instantly from Bs to Cs in school the day i stopped caffine. this increase raised my grades to passable Cs. each day after that i had only a little coffee, enough to get me up, no more. days seemed longer, much more boring. everything seemed stale, flat and unprofitable. it just generaly sucked.
but today i was liberated from my gloomy fate, and one of my first actions out of bed was to drink a pot of hazlenut coffee, gulp down a 32 oz mt dew and sit happily on the buzz for a while.
i was told that i should stop being addicted, so i tried it. i didn't like it. people seem to use mcfly lodgic when debating why not to be addicted to caffine.
"why not?"
"It'll stunt your growth." then they look at over-six-foot bob and curse.
"so why not?"
"you shouldn't be addicted to anything at your age!" if we realize it or not, we're almost all addicted to something.
i think partialy this was an experiment to see if i had the will to stop drinking it. i surprised myself in that way, i thought i'd come rushing back to my Life Juice in a day, kissing it and saying that we'd never break up again. i guess it didn't go that way. still, i learned a lot from this experience. now i just need to figure out what.

also, don't forget to check out the revenge song!